names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
