Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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