I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
