All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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