Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
