i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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