No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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