I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
