doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
