My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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