So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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