Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
