State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
