I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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