If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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