Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
