god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
