that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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