i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
