At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
