I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
