I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
