if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
