You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
