You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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