How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
