Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
