She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
