i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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