i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
