is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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