Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
