you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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