sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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