3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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