dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
