Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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