He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
