Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
