Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
