The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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