Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
