if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
