This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
