literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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