I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
accomplished twins. life is a go
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
