Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
