Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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