Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
