omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
