You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
